Happiness

If god is the source of it all, then the source would have to be in the past, a place in time, right, when everything first began, that first spark...it has to be in the past, God has to live in the past, because all time is linear correct? Is it, even in outer space? We dont know that for sure. But based on what we do know, the source of everything exists in a place in time, one would think in the past. So that would be god? The past? And we are moving away? And all we want is to go back? The first thought? A powerful one. Now, can one talk to that one thing in time, back when it was -one thing? It has to exist in space and time. I can transcend that in my mind, correct? So here I am seeking that which loves me. That which adores me. That which thinks I am so special. That which sees my beauty and sees my desires, and wants to help. I am seeking that which knows all of me, all my desires, my worldly and what I want for those I love..that who loves me, and knows me..I am seeking. Hello? Are you there? Can you here me?

Now would that be the god of all. And since we are pure consciousness in an animal body, is there such a thing as a god of man? God of all men? So that would be another god...correct?




I meditated on the SRI YANTRA today. The questions came to me,  from this meditation. Wow, its the symbol that contains everything. Even the pyramids, built even with the entrances to kings chamber, exact copy of the Sri Yantra. You even see a sphinx, but with a lions head, not a pharoahs. You see that when you stare at the symbol. You also see the three pyramids. You see all animals. You see a human face. You see a tower facing towards me and a tunnel the other way out the other side.  You see pi, golden ratio..Its all coincided with your chakras, the heart is the first fourteen triangles. I know you probably think what, what what? Yes, but just remember the SRI YANTRA. Its divine symbol to meditate. Older than the pyramids.


My mind makes sense of it. It does, its like a puzzle. Its like oh wow, it is a vortex tool. It is very trippy. Its Hindu. But they say it may be older than the oldest religion itself. They say everything man has to experience is in there, They say its a roadmap to your desires. How to get there, it shows you like its crystal clear and you know how its going to happen even, and you know who will help you. You just know. You have dreams where your phobias are cured vividly.

 They say India has never had war, because of this symbol built into all their ancient temples. In fact, some of the temples are giant 3d sri yantras. In Oregon a crop circle showed up, and three guys took credit , but couldnt recreate it at all. Not even the lines in the ground. It was all perfect the grooves over 13 miles or something. You could only see it from a plane. Anyways. Year later, it made the area fertile! Water appeared etc. Cymatics, you know what that is? The shapes sound makes if you put sand on speakers. Anyways, the sri yantra is the om sound. And it appears, the shape of it. On certain frequencies I do not know the exact science. But I have seen it on video.

We are pure consciousness, but we have an animal body leading to all sorts of strange desires and wants. The purpose of life is to attain worldly desires. To ultimate liberation...and I think you can overcome stuff as well using the sri yantra. If you desire. I been warned to use it only for good. But I have done it for bad- in emergencies.


One who keeps getting unwanted results in life could benefit from meditation on the Sri Yantra. Do you really want to overcome sensual desires? I can see where that would be divine in a way. But I do love man a lot. Jealousy false pride avarice failures avarice miserliness I would love to overcome. But like I said, I love man, and I love mens things.

when I go shopping, I always put in my cart, what I have reached for. I shop with my intuition. I do. I put whatever I have in my hands. You know how you look at things, but put them back? Well, if its in your hand, you are supposed to buy it. Its your unconscious that picked it. Where my eyes fall when I go down an aisle, it is usually what I need, but I never know for sure until I go home and when I go home, I am like THANK YOU I REALLY NEEDED THAT. Your mind knows what's in the entire store. Space out a little when you go shopping. Remember, if you are reading or looking at it, you need it. It makes it easier to shop and a lot quicker. I always said I should write a book on psychic shopping.
There is always, oh will I have enough money...and I don't really need, and..well, I dont know if I have enough...that voice in your head..you cannot listen to. You are overthinking. In my remote viewing classes Ed Dames, I was told that once you think something, you have it wrong. X that out and start over. It takes time to do that. your mind loves to analyze and figure and translate and it just cant.
When you speak and you stutter, or type and make typos, that means you are not being honest. Communication has to be clear and pure or its all messed up.
I made some pomegranate bombs, you know big chunks of them, the fleshy seeds in packets? with some soaked goji berries and ate that. I also had a lot of warmed cacao tea too. I have a salad I made in the fridge. Tahini dressing. With lemon juice, raisins, water..


I have photos I have to upload.

12 9 2015 POETRY

I definitely seen what is happening years ahead. I always seem to see things way before they happen. My eyes have been all over the news years ago- before its happening now..I have opinions on things no one else does. I seem to like unpopular ideas. I see through propaganda. SO many times people are like Mado, you are the only one who thinks this, and then a few years later I go I told you so. I do not know what this is. Is this intuition? Well I see dark things coming. Very dark and we are all in the web. We must be confident. Good always overcomes evil. Its just what happens. Good ideas will always win over bad ones.
What is the ultimate idea? What is the way we are supposed to be? How are we to live? That is for young philosophers. How are we to respect or disrespect human life? How do we handle our power our free will, choices and contracts? This body computer.
 What are the rules besides anything goes? Is there a light? Is there a will we have inside, leading us to what is good? How do we know we are on the right path? Does one feel it and then uses common sense also? Is it a feeling or do I have to sit down and draw diagrams and plans? Do I have to make goals for my life, for my week, for my hour, for my minutes? Because intentions change per moment. I have so much emotion, I feel alive.
 I feel spiritually, gifted, I definitely take for granted my gifts. When you got something, you just got it. Its not that exciting. I have desires. I now know my will. I do. That is where our magic is.
 I have some weaknesses. I feel support. I know I am on the right path as unpopular as it may be, I know what is right. I have senses. I have a brain. We all do. I want what is right. I want to touch it. I want to have a relationship with it. What is our future here in planet Earth? This awakening is so profound, the imaginary tide turning- is turning now. Its so fast. I came so far in just five years. Every minute it seems I am feeling things, rushing through my nerves. I get thoughts sent to me from all over. I have conversations and I make connections with people, even though I do not see them or speak with them in months. I have to translate my own thoughts. Sometimes they are not my own.
My favorite psychic game, I been playing for years, is, when I send someone an email, or photos, or a joke, I know exactly when they open it up and read it. Sometimes I forget for days. But when I feel in my heart the memory coming back with even new forgotten memories coming back, I know that person is reading it right at that moment. I open up presents with the person I bought presents for, even out of state. I read emails all over again from new eyes. I hear messages, and I know whats been read and when. I do. Its instant. You cannot ignore it. But I do notice that there are moments when I feel I am witnessing something in the future, and my reaction to it in the future. Like I can see ahead of time, someone's thoughts or reaction. And then again when it happens in full color. I do this so much I take it for granted. Its like everyday. I know, no one has to call me.
That is it. I want to become more spiritual. I want to love more.  I want to share a Great love. I want to reach new heights. I have so much to share. I have been through what works. I am lucky enough to be dating, in a relationship with,  yes, father of my kids, a real idiot savant with numbers. Totally incapable of these things like basic social skills, but so gifted- Antonin is a true psychic, the real thing. I am dating a psychic that has skills that come so naturally. My skills are self taught self trained. His were taught when he was a child by a traveling healer father. His dad taught him so much. I have seen things. I leave this as its all poetry, all fiction. Imagination. All my writing. I wish I could write all day. Maybe I should.
I am reading so many books on Audible and on my Prime. I love it. I want to learn everything. I want to start hypnotizing people and finding out through their own words, what people were in past lives and even future, with information that can heal. I want to start doing it. For free of course.


Its funny I do free tarot and I have to beg people to give them.  I have to beg others to give them free readings and I wish they would appreciate. They laugh, make fun, dismiss it. Its so special when I do them, to me at least. So much information is out there ready to be accessed dissected cut up analyzed. I love my readings, I can do one a day. I am very shy. I am very quiet.


I went to Paris twice and Iceland and I didn't talk to anybody when there. I don't know many people THAT shy. That's me.


SO for me to find guinea pigs for my spiritual transformation..its like the photographer of people, who is afraid of people. To ask if ok to take a photo, forget it.


I also love my SRI YANTA but I have not found a way to read with it yet. I don't know if I want to share that technology with anyone, yet. Its so good. I consult it daily through meditation. Its from the Hindu religion, a tool for yogis. Its older than the pyramids they say, because the configuration of the pyramids is exact to the SRI YANTRA. Its a mandala looking design that actually has PI in it,  the GOLDEN RATIO. It seems to be 3d. It goes up and down and to the sides. There are circles squares and triangles. And like the tarot, everything that man has to experience in life is in there. I have had profound life changing events using this tool, yet its power eludes me. I take it for granted. Power is like that.


I should start writing about people I know. DO portraits. I love writing.


There are beautiful friends I have. I can maybe talk about.

Questions. Love. Light.

What is right and good in the world
What is right for humanity
What is good for individuals
What is the highest moral best a person can be?
How do you know what to do?
Can you tap into an energy, an invisible force, imagination, as others would call it...and ask it questions
and have it answer you somehow. Do I have to be on the table knocked out next to a reader to give answers or can I be concious and write it myself.
Can I talk to you reading in the future?
Can I talk to myself in the future, now?
Can I talk to all humanity? Can I speak to the entire planet?
If I were to create a world religion, it would be all about free will. And how it must be respected. Also, about whats right and what is good. That which is safe and leads to all wordly desires.


But everyone has free will, so they may choose evil. Look I can only speak for myself. What is right and good for me. What is the best, What decisions are all right. What decision


Its not a right if someone can vote it away from you. We have a functioning democracy and no longer a constitutional republic. This is aiding our enemies. And we need to stop before all is lost. You are subject to the opinion of others, now it seems. This is not how we are supposed to be. How can you know what is best for others. You can know what is best for yourself. And your own world.


Heaven is other people. Bliss is connecting to others always. Always be connected to someone psychically or else lose yourself in outer space. Connect and stay connected, hold on every moment to someone else. I think Marilyn Monroe had to be connected to others all the time, day and night. She was so vibrant and energetically glowing with love. I want to be like her.


There is no home, just other people. That is what home is. Others. Or thoughts of others. Others others others that is love. Who am I if there were no other people? There is no Paris without all the people who have created it. That takes love. Not just love, but love shining down on you. You being loved. Love loving you. That is what its all for. Love of others for you. Eyes upon you, like you were a baby and your mom was looking at you longingly.


Is this what heaven is? The love of someone else? The praise? And if so, why do so many of us not see this? We go around loving others like crazy, why because we have to, we have to love an ideal man or ideal woman. And we have to look at people, on screen, we have to listen to them on computer and the tv. We need others.


I need you and you need me. I need you to write to and you need me to read.
Today I had hemp lemon juice salt agave dressing atop wild greens and cilantro. I had banana sage smoothies.
I want to be a winner in everything I do and want. I want to know my will. I want my will to be out there working for me.
I want to succeed. Everything that is good and right. I want to communicate with. I want to translate messages from all that is good in life. I want to only be in this space all the time, as much as I can.
I want my energy to guide me and my family. I need to depend on my energy to always know where to be where it is safe. I want my family to be safe. I want to live abundantantly.




I think people are always connected to others, some more than others. Some all the time. And I think you go from one person to another, like anchors, when you think of them. There is also what is good and right according to your worldly desires. What is good and right is your desire. What is good and right is these worldly desires.




Statism is the deathnail. When the heat hits, all is going to melt like snowflakes. Government as a whole, wow, they are not good. Anything to control man. Outside oneself. One must control oneself. One must be reminding to not kill hurt or steal from others, or lie in contracts. One must use the laws against the players. They write it to seem like it means how they want, but its written out pretty clearly. And no one reads anything. The constitution itself can be used.


If I am able to contact anything, I would like to contact all that is good and right. I would like to ask it...am I replacing a person for you? Is god other people? Am I supposed to be praying to another human? Am I to tell all and confess to a person? Am I supposed to ask for all my desires, of another? Is there an entity that is good and right that leads and helps humans? Of course there is. I would like to speak to an entity that helps humans. I am looking and awaiting. I am asking, how do I know when I am on the right path? Can you lead me to where all my dreams come true? All my worldly desires granted? Can I make a spiritual request? Jesus oh Lord!!

Green juices

Raw kombucha

Carrot almond bell pepper pate

Raw cake in a mug

How to eat raw vegan food simply

Master one way of eating and stick to that. Find out what works best for you, what do you like the most. Find like 5 recipes and master them. Tweak to your liking and make subtle changes. That way you know you have winning recipes everyone especially you will like. If you make something and it doesnt turn out, make it again, until you master it, until you understand it. Make these recipes easy.

Raw food recipes are not the same as cooked food ones. There will always be variations in flavor and in produce. You have to learn the 5 flavors. When tasting, see if you can taste them all. With raw vegan foods, you can add sweet to savory and vice versa. Even a little himalayan salt in your pies make it taste better. Make sure if you add any ingredient, that you can taste it. It is good to have all flavors present in each recipe. Do not over do garlic. This can ruin a dish. Always start with one clove and taste. Its raw!

Get a OJ juicer. This makes juicing lemons, which you need for almost everything! and yummy Oj for your days of fasting on it.

Get a nut mylk bag. Take some cucumbers, two and blend in Vitamix. Then add half head of kale or any wild greens in your yard like nettle of dandelion. Then half head of celery. Blend forever. Then strain.

A GREEN STAR, the goddess of juicers for raw people. Homogenizing plate. GREAT for your NUT MEAT. Take almonds, from Italy or Spain. They cannot be from the USA no matter what they say, they are required by law to flash cook it. They say it sprouts, because it puffs up with water, but it will never grow into a tree. They are desperate and lie. Their business is in jeopardy because everyone wants truly raw almonds, so they say anything on the labels. Anyways, get these and soak overnight. Put through the green star with carrots bell peppers celery etc and this is your meat.

Wraps are leaves, raw black nori sheets, rollies, made from dehydrating energy soup or thai coconut blended with corn and dehydrated to make crispy or flexxy raw taco wraps.

A good comfort food is mac nuts blended with dates, equal amounts. Spiced with sweet spice.

Sweet spice is what you will make that has dried ginger, anise, cinnamon, cloves allspice etc.. you can just mix it all for your sweet raw recipes. Dried vanilla powder, etc

A savory spice is himalayan salt, dried garlic, tumeric, kelp, black pepper and or oregano...you can mix that for your savory dishes.

Get an electric sprouter, start sunflower seeds now. They are amazing and you just change the water once a day and it grows it for you. I have done wheatgrass in it, with Oceangrown, which makes 92 mineral wheatgrass for those who want to get high.

Get a dehydrator with a thermostat. Keep it below 105 or 115 or for the first hour only 145 then to 105 for the rest of the HALF OF THE TIME you have left to go. Get the sheets. To pour sprouted grain cookies or rollies or whatever you dry in there.

Salads, chop very tiny, shred the greens, cabbage, herbs, wild greens from your yard. Put in nuts, seaweed and make a dressing you love. Find a recipe that reminds you of your favorite dressing. Raisins for sweet. Always make a dressing with all the flavors present that you can taste, before serving.

Make teas in the sun or in the fridge overnight. Soak berries and cucumbers, lemon slices, ginger etc

Get a veggie chopper for Savory green stews, the toppings, or for fruit dishes, it cubes everything. I just made some persimmon cubes.
I love my chopper.

Blend. I make a lot of smoothies, not really anymore, but this is real easy to do. Bananas dates tahini frozen berries supplements etc...its great way to live. I have a Vitamix. Just buy one and don't worry about money. Its a must have.

I want to get Gorilla Food uncook book and also Soak your Nuts book. I want to make raw vegan food all the time, even though I have not been having a relationship to any food. I been calorie restricting for about a year now. I am down to 110 my ideal weight. I never am hungry the less I eat I feel. And I have so much more energy. I dont know. I been raw since 2003 and I have stopped with the banana smoothies. I just had my teeth redone for the second time in ten years. Veneers Crowns Implants. I am going to stay away from the tropical fruit while living in the snowy climate I am in. I am going to try more greens and sprouts. I am what they call a liar, to alot of raw vegans who say that those who gain weight on fruit, are liars. I am I guess. Massive doses in my blender of Fruit has made me very big. FInally I am thin again, slender and thin. I like greens krauts and sprouts and avocados. YUM. I like dehydrated grain crackers.

I been meditating alot. I been eating a lot of raw vegan food in my area, in farmers markets and coops. Prepared food. I love my kombucha. I love my lemon juice waters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yix7JEi1v9o&feature=youtu.be

Raw food prep video for those raw vegan friends of mine...lots of good memories come flooding back when I worked in a 100% raw organic kitchen. It was so much fun. Dessert was the best part, we used to have fights about who was making the cakes. Also we would fight if someone forgot to wash their hands, or if someone kept going to sunset meditation everyday, leaving the rest of us to juice all the lemons by ourselves.

I am getting my ten tray dehydrator back today, I had a dream I was making flax cacao cookies. MMM Life force. Higher vitality and higher nutrition.

How to be a good eater. Fruit salad for breakfast
I think one should eat when they feel like and not too much.
I think it should be raw vegan. I prefer this. I would rather eat like this than anyway else. I would like to do a green juice fast for one day, maybe make every Friday green juice day, that would be great. I think human bodies are in crisis these days, we must get out of the radiation zones, the wifi places, the gmo, geoengineering, etc..whatever they are- we need to go back to nature. Just because we have human bodies, I know our minds are very evolved and we can be ideas, but the body is the body and has its own rules outside of the minds powers.

Go back to raw. Just do it, its so fun. Its clean, its awake. It is bliss. Coconut and watermelon juice. Sun and swimming. Heat and warmth, Healing and love. Find out what I am made of, I am made of Earth.

I follow my passions daily. I focus on being a spiritual being, to help others, through imagination or hypnosis. Whats the difference between the thought of a penguin and a penguin dancing with sunglasses..they are both not real. And they are very real, thoughts are maybe even the basis of creation, what do you want to create now? Maybe our thoughts are like creation.

Easiest food to make, the easiest way to get started, no being in the kitchen for five hours. Simple recipes I need to make. Maybe make a salad bar in the fridge ahead of time. I like gorilla cooking. I would love to be with other 100% raw vegans. I am not like others though.

I want you to decide what is your ideal angel body and feel it. Its there always ready to be activated. All you need is raw energy inside you. All you need is raw vegan tropical foods.

Raw Vegan Spaghetti Mushrooms etc

Raw Vegan Nature Burger, raw bread

Persimmon pudding

Green Juice

Raw Cranberry Sauce

Comment I love about the Climate Change Paris UN meeting.

So, you guys are all ok with giving world power to a select few? A small group who can talk to and "speak" for the Earth, and can tell you what she is thinking.   and what GAIA  wants is for these select few, to control the entire Planet...in the sake of saving "Earth". Everybody likes Earth right? This means, world power.  This is the doing of LEX LUTHOR or COBRA....don't buy into it folks! Our individual liberties and freedoms are more important. Everybody else needs something but you, including Earth, which is a non being.. Why not demand your rights be protected! Why not ask what can be done for you. That will save the Earth. 


So, you guys are all ok with giving world power to a select few? A small group who can talk to and "speak" for the Earth, and can tell you what she is thinking.   and what GAIA  wants is for these select few, to control the entire Planet...in the sake of saving "Earth". Everybody likes Earth right? This means, world power.  This is the doing of LEX LUTHOR or COBRA....don't buy into it folks! Our individual liberties and freedoms are more important. Everybody else needs something but you, including Earth, which is a non being.. Why not demand your rights be protected!


So, you guys are all ok with giving world power to a select few? A small group who can talk to and "speak" for the Earth, and can tell you what she is thinking.   and what GAIA  wants is for these select few, to control the entire Planet...in the sake of saving "Earth". Everybody likes Earth right? This means, world power.  This is the doing of LEX LUTHOR or COBRA....don't buy into it folks! Our individual liberties and freedoms are more important. Everybody else needs something but you, including Earth, which is a non being.. Why not demand your rights be protected!
So, you guys are all ok with giving world power to a select few? A small group who can talk to and "speak" for the Earth, and can tell you what she is thinking.   and what GAIA  wants is for these select few, to control the entire Planet...in the sake of saving "Earth". Everybody likes Earth right? This means, world power.  This is the doing of LEX LUTHOR or COBRA....don't buy into it folks! Our individual liberties and freedoms are more important. Everybody else needs something but you, including Earth, which is a non being.. Why not demand your rights be protected!

Spiritual

I need a passion.

I would like to channel something out there, down in language- in words. I love to type, I would love to hear short stories and then print them for fun.  Is that too good to be true. A collaboration of sorts with storyteller spirits.

I think people want to know I am speaking to them someone somehow. ENERGY. When you write a story. When you read a story. You are connected with others in the future even after you are dead and gone. You have reached into time and come out the other end, as a word to someone. I think that is the key in writing, is that you are connecting to someone out there in the future. So all words are for future selves.

And present..and maybe a past self if I re read something I wrote, that I forgot about. Words are powerful. Language is powerful. What is it? I know as a teenager all the books I read I sometimes acted out or was that character somehow energetically.

I would love to be a writer. I would like to channel a story. I dont want to create one, I want to be the audience as well. I would like to hear a story. I just want to serve others. I do. I want to give others something great.

I love Ayn Rand , but she goes on to say things like beauty are so unimportant in life,  yet she wrote the most riveting article on Marilyn Monroe's beauty for Playboy magazine. I get what she is trying to say. Howard Roark is amazing.

It's almost like a fetish - to put feelings of love- on one's own work. Instead of another person, the lust is for the accomplishment.

Jesus says OTHERS , OTHERS...but what does that mean. And do I want to be a shepherd? Can I just be a little balanced? That would be what Ayn calls GREY AREA. And she says, there is no grey, its either good or bad- and even if a little bad is in there, then its all ruined.

I would love to connect with Ayn Rand. I would have to connect with her energy. I am not sure if she believes in the after life, so if she believed truly she would die, then maybe she is dead somewhere in a cocoon, hibernating. They say if you believe in Jesus, then you think you are dead until he comes back,  and you wait for him., lying in a coffin somewhere for maybe millions of years.
 They say if you are a pagan, then  you see your Diana..and sometimes if you believe in many gods, you see them all battle for your soul. Imagine that. If you believe you are going to hell...maybe you go there? But its all about free will really. Who would want that. I am sure there are some and that's what is so great about free will. God is curious.

What do I believe will happen to me when I die? That I will miss and love my kids so much. But I know , I will know who they are and what their mission is. And it will be like so exciting when I learn -we will all be together again soon, maybe, if they want to. Maybe I have to make it their will? I am sure they would love to be doing whatever it is we like.

I do like being a human. I do like things. I do want to do things like decorate a mansion or give an annual white party.

You are free will. You are. That is what you are. Stop hiding it, thyself you need to meet. What is your will? What do you want to be right now? What do you want right now? What do you want to learn, where do you want to go? Who do you want to meet? THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!

 I love other people.GOD IS OTHER PEOPLE. The inner third eye looking at you. It sees you. All god sees you through other people's senses.

Is loving someone else, doing whatever it is, that is liked by them, and changing to what they want? Wow, you would have to be a mind reader, or a body language reader. And then what? You have their love? You have connected? You have earned something? You have created something? You have now a love? Then what, you are back where you started. Love of thyself is whats important