Tuesday, November 10, 2015


I need a passion.

I would like to channel something out there, down in language- in words. I love to type, I would love to hear short stories and then print them for fun.  Is that too good to be true. A collaboration of sorts with storyteller spirits.

I think people want to know I am speaking to them someone somehow. ENERGY. When you write a story. When you read a story. You are connected with others in the future even after you are dead and gone. You have reached into time and come out the other end, as a word to someone. I think that is the key in writing, is that you are connecting to someone out there in the future. So all words are for future selves.

And present..and maybe a past self if I re read something I wrote, that I forgot about. Words are powerful. Language is powerful. What is it? I know as a teenager all the books I read I sometimes acted out or was that character somehow energetically.

I would love to be a writer. I would like to channel a story. I dont want to create one, I want to be the audience as well. I would like to hear a story. I just want to serve others. I do. I want to give others something great.

I love Ayn Rand , but she goes on to say things like beauty are so unimportant in life,  yet she wrote the most riveting article on Marilyn Monroe's beauty for Playboy magazine. I get what she is trying to say. Howard Roark is amazing.

It's almost like a fetish - to put feelings of love- on one's own work. Instead of another person, the lust is for the accomplishment.

Jesus says OTHERS , OTHERS...but what does that mean. And do I want to be a shepherd? Can I just be a little balanced? That would be what Ayn calls GREY AREA. And she says, there is no grey, its either good or bad- and even if a little bad is in there, then its all ruined.

I would love to connect with Ayn Rand. I would have to connect with her energy. I am not sure if she believes in the after life, so if she believed truly she would die, then maybe she is dead somewhere in a cocoon, hibernating. They say if you believe in Jesus, then you think you are dead until he comes back,  and you wait for him., lying in a coffin somewhere for maybe millions of years.
 They say if you are a pagan, then  you see your Diana..and sometimes if you believe in many gods, you see them all battle for your soul. Imagine that. If you believe you are going to hell...maybe you go there? But its all about free will really. Who would want that. I am sure there are some and that's what is so great about free will. God is curious.

What do I believe will happen to me when I die? That I will miss and love my kids so much. But I know , I will know who they are and what their mission is. And it will be like so exciting when I learn -we will all be together again soon, maybe, if they want to. Maybe I have to make it their will? I am sure they would love to be doing whatever it is we like.

I do like being a human. I do like things. I do want to do things like decorate a mansion or give an annual white party.

You are free will. You are. That is what you are. Stop hiding it, thyself you need to meet. What is your will? What do you want to be right now? What do you want right now? What do you want to learn, where do you want to go? Who do you want to meet? THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!

 I love other people.GOD IS OTHER PEOPLE. The inner third eye looking at you. It sees you. All god sees you through other people's senses.

Is loving someone else, doing whatever it is, that is liked by them, and changing to what they want? Wow, you would have to be a mind reader, or a body language reader. And then what? You have their love? You have connected? You have earned something? You have created something? You have now a love? Then what, you are back where you started. Love of thyself is whats important

1 comment:

  1. hello suvine, used to read your blog back when you were in coral cables and blogged about your life. Nice to find you again. You might like the poem The Mango by Mary Oliver. Keep on writing and posting pics of your beautiful food. I like reading your thoughts too.