Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Hello again
is anyone out there who can speak with me?
Or give me energy to translate,  or type my words for me!
I no longer want to think anything when I write.
Channeling exercise!
Is anyone there?
I would like to channel something out there, down in language- in words. I love to type, I would love to hear short stories and then print them for fun.  Is that too good to be true. A collaboration of sorts with storyteller spirits.

I think people want to know I am speaking to them someone somehow. Instead of with spirits. When you write a story. When you read a story. You are connected with others in the future even after you are dead and gone. You have reached into time and come out the other end, as a word to someone. I think that is the key in writing, is that you are connecting to someone out there in the future. So all words are for future selves.

And present..and maybe a past self if I re read something I wrote, that I forgot about. Words are powerful. Language is powerful. What is it? I know as a teenager all the books I read I sometimes acted out or was that character somehow energetically.

I would love to be a writer. I would like to channel a story. I dont want to create one, I want to be the audience as well. I would like to hear a story. I just want to serve others. I do. I want to give others something great.

I love Ayn Rand but after decade of pondering, I think now, for the first time, her philosophy may be flawed. In one hand she says your mind is your god, your ego..then she puts down everything your mind loves..or she goes on to say things like beauty are so unimportant in life,  yet she wrote the most riveting article on Marilyn Monroe's beauty for Playboy magazine. I get what she is trying to say..but there is alot of BS at the other end of her philosophy because if Howard Roark truly did not care for others, he wouldn't have wanted them to have the very best steel.

It's almost like a fetish - to put feelings of love- on one's own work. Instead of another person, the lust is for the accomplishment.

Jesus says OTHERS , OTHERS...but what does that mean. And do I want to be a shepherd? Can I just be a little balanced? That would be what Ayn calls GREY AREA. And she says, there is no grey, its either good or bad- and even if a little bad is in there, then its all ruined.

I would love to channel Ayn Rand. I would have to connect with her energy. I am not sure if she believes in the after life, so if she believed truly she would die, then maybe she is dead somewhere in a cocoon, hibernating. They say if you believe in Jesus, then you think you are dead until he comes back,  and you wait for him., lying in a coffin somewhere for maybe millions of years.
 They say if you are a pagan, then  you see your Diana..and sometimes if you believe in many gods, you see them all battle for your soul. Imagine that. If you believe you are going to hell...maybe you go there? But its all about free will really. Who would want that. I am sure there are some and that's what is so great about free will. God is curious.

What do I believe will happen to me when I die? I will go to the sun. That I will miss and love my kids so much. But I know , I will know who they are and what their mission is. And it will be like so exciting when I learn -we will all be together again soon, maybe, if they want to. Maybe I have to make it their will? I am sure they would love to be doing whatever it is we like.

I do like being a human. I do like things. I do want to do things like decorate a mansion or give an annual white party.

You are free will. You are. That is what you are. Stop hiding it, thyself you need to meet. What is your will? What do you want to be right now? What do you want right now? What do you want to learn, where do you want to go? Who do you want to meet? THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!

 I love other people. I have always had a hard time connecting to people. I found MOST of them always disgusting and gross. I was a closet misanthropist. I do not want to be this anymore. I want to see the human spirit. I was very cruel to people, all my life. When I met the ones good enough for me, Good enough to be loved by me, I let them hurt me like a masochist. I was the Priestess Tarot card. But I want to change. I want everyone's psychic vote that they see me and indeed I see them. I want to go around that feeling of repulsion. And the eye in their forehead - the third eye, is all that matters for that is god. Folks, GOD IS OTHER PEOPLE. The inner third eye looking at you. It sees you. All god sees you through other people's senses.

Is loving someone else, doing whatever it is, that is liked by them, and changing to what they want? Wow, you would have to be a mind reader, or a body language reader. And then what? You have their love? You have connected? You have earned something? You have created something? You have now a love?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Raw Vegan Food

Zucchini Noodles and raw vegan pesto pasta

Raw vegan granola Annette L recipe

Scoop out thai coconut

Dehydrated flax and apples Apple Flax Crackers under 100 degrees dried, so fresh

Raw Mango Strawberry pie

Raw Vegan Sesame noodles Sarma recipe

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Writing exercise.

What is the meaning of life?

What is true nature. What is beauty. who lives on. What is shown here is true. Its free.

 Can you telepathically learn to type better? Is there a block? Should not I know exactly where the keys are after all these years typing and writing. My typing should be crystal clear. It should be. I should never again look at the keys ever again.

I am om-ing. I had a memory come up, of a late night class or a late night mass in my Grandfathers church when I was growing up. We all lit candles and sung holy night. I had forgotten this since it happened I think. Its nice to have flashbacks like that. Is it true Christianity is dying? I am sad and light a candle for it. We all should. It was nice to go to church. It could be any religion really. As long as its meditative sweet, kind and peaceful.

Maybe a new religion could be communing with aliens. Or telepathy with cats. Telekinesis thoughts.

Heart healing, second chakra rubbing. Root Chakra tree grounding. Open the gates of the heart chakra. Then the throat opening. Then the cerebellum. Then the third eye, between your forehead. AND THEN shooting out, the crown. Yes I shoot out what I want.

OMMMMMM. I seek so much knowledge and beauty and looking back, my life is so amazing. The things I have done. I have taken everything for granted. One day I will be thinking so much of where I am right now. And I just cant appreciate it, because, I am in it?

I am crazy about the RH franchise. I have seen every episode and bought every book. I know...its GREAT.

Raw vegan meal

Raw Vegan Papaya Salad

Raw Vegan Seaweed Salad

Raw Vegan Pizza

Raw Vegan dish at Spirit

Marthas vineyard park

Raw vegan Stuffed tomatoes

Raw vegan stuffed peppers

Raw vegan pancakes Ann Wigmore

Raw Vegan salad out at a restaurant

Raw vegan Kale and tomato and avocado dish

Raw vegan sprouts I grew

Raw vegan sprouts I grew and avocado

Raw Vegan Las Vegas

Raw Vegan Tomato Cucumber

Raw Vegan Lasagna on South Beach

I used to work here making these raw vegan nori rolls

Raw Vegan Arame recipe

Raw Vegan lasagna at farmers market

I made this raw vegan carrot cake when I apprenticed

Raw vegan Gazpacho MK recipe

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

What do I love about life? By ME

God is whatever is good and Devil is whatever is bad. It can be any religion, any person, anything you want to create those are. Some say it is evil to eat meat, others say it is good. Some say it is good to serve others, and then others say it is the highest moral good to serve your own self.

I go through life believing in almost everything and everyone. I believe in Dec 21, 2012. I believed in the days to come. I believed in channelers. I believed in all the books I read. I know some feel good. I know others say feelings- are not an accurate gauge for anything. I can say I am a fully spiritual person. I believe in everything. I believe in imagination and its powers. I know telepathy. I know how to do it. Its so natural to me now, I have forgotten how far I have come. I take it for granted. Tolstoy used to sit and have imaginary conversations with his friends every night, talking out loud to nobody, wrote his maid. I probably have spoken to you, if you are reading this. I probably already have. If not, I am now.  Hello. I see you.

I have been doing intuitive shopping. Its this thing I invented. I wonder if its a thing? Where I walk into a mall or grocery store...I get the first thing my eyes fall upon, and I do not think or overthink anything. Usually I would put something like that back, because you ruin it when you think..but this time, I always get it. I find if I do not get whatever this thing is, it haunts me during the week later, because that was something I really really needed. SO I have proved it.

I have changed so much in a year. I have become someone completely different. I have been injected with purpose. I have traveled millions of light years. I have become so much better. I have realized sensations and feelings. I have become aware of fantasies. I have asked for success and I have gotten it. I know exactly things now, I couldnt even grasp for decades into all my past life. I have grown. I have gotten revenge by success, on all my past. I have known beauty. I have pondered on sweet pain. I have missed my parents and my childhood blissfully. Thank you Sri Yantra. Whatever you are, I have seen so much in my minds eye because of you. I have been blessed with knowing where my thoughts come from. I know what it is I want and my greatest mission.

I know I feel love and I feel mad passion. I do. I feel passion. I have energy. I am slender. I am perfect. I am strong. I have access to higher energies. I am a fountain of free energy. I feel myself swinging and manifesting things easy. But they are complex desires, and under my feet, I feel reality changing to fit my new frame of mind. Almost like a movie scene. Its folding in on itself, to fit my new mind. I am full aware of my powers now. I have accessed something, and I can never turn back to being in darkness again. I can now see. I know exactly what the guy who built Coral Castle was doing. I don't know how he did it, but I know how he got the answer. That feat, is not my desire. I am skyrocketing into a new me. I know what I want. I have been radiating it for a while now. I see the proof. I am feeling. I am loving. I know how to love. And I know I want others to love me. I know this. I know I want you to love me. It is so important, to feel this. What you want.

I feel so good. I feel like the future is in my hands. The world is at my feet. I am waiting for the ships to come in, with the earth in my hand. I am. Its coming. I do not know how. I know what I want. I do. Its you.

That which I seek, seeks me. Surely others have a use for me? I can fulfill? Someone has a need I can help them with. Things I seek, I am sought after as well...just with the same desire. Surely others are attracting me to them? New Friends. New things, new games, newness. FRESHNESS. In life.

Someone must need me pretty bad. I must be valuable to someone. I can be very useful and helpful to maybe someone around me? Surely someone has a desire that includes me in the plan? I cannot just be floating in space rocketing myself around?

Surely, someone loves me?

I have to be perfect all the time. I do. I have to just be a perfect version of whatever is expected, all the time. I have to go beyond what is comfortable. I have to out do and over do. I have to shock. I have to say hello. I have to announce myself and be my own manager and be my own fan and be my own admirer. This is what life is all about. Going after our desires. And my desire is to be perfect. My desire it to be with GOODNESS. To be with WHAT IS RIGHT.