My grandfather Veldon next to the topless guy in the 1940's
I would like very much to be the woman I used to be. But when I look back, I see sadness. I am happy now. I like to be loved. I like to have a boyfriend. I do. I like very much to be a mother. To love a little girl more than anything. To be good to her. To give her attention over the stupidest things. To be woken up by a little face who is so kind. Other children are so mean to her, it breaks my heart. I should defend her when other kids dont want to share their toys with her. I should really. But I let her deal with it. Its what other people are like. I see the kindness in her eyes how she stares and stares at them, follows them and tries to hug. They run and scream to their mommies, other little boys.
I love her so much. I took her on a plane, got her her own seat with a car seat. We went to see her great grandma. Also my grandfathers grave and church where he was a pastor. I cried my eyes out. It felt like my church that I used to play in when I was a child. Seeing another pastor up there in robes when it used to be my granddaddy. I cried so hard.
I dont believe in religion or dogma, but I felt like my sins were forgiven there. My grandfather was there in spirit and he forgave me like Jesus. Weird I know. But I felt it.
Anyways. That chapter of my childhood opened.
Me on Alton road
The wedding cake I made for a real wedding, a raw vegan wedding cake, 7 cases of thai coconuts and a crust of golden flax seeds with agave
Juice fasting during Hurricane Wilma
The pool I used to go to, natural spring water, down my street where I used to live.
This hotel the Biltmore I used to go and hang out in, at night I would go to it and talk to it. I think it was haunted. Al Capone lived there.
Raw Vegan CARROT Cake I made for this girl who was the girlfriend of a famous hollywood producer.
My town Yelm