Grandfather

My grandfather Veldon next to the topless guy in the 1940's

I would like very much to be the woman I used to be. But when I look back, I see sadness. I am happy now. I like to be loved. I like to have a boyfriend. I do. I like very much to be a mother. To love a little girl more than anything. To be good to her. To give her attention over the stupidest things. To be woken up by a little face who is so kind. Other children are so mean to her, it breaks my heart. I should defend her when other kids dont want to share their toys with her. I should really. But I let her deal with it. Its what other people are like. I see the kindness in her eyes how she stares and stares at them, follows them and tries to hug. They run and scream to their mommies, other little boys.

I love her so much. I took her on a plane, got her her own seat with a car seat. We went to see her great grandma. Also my grandfathers grave and church where he was a pastor. I cried my eyes out. It felt like my church that I used to play in when I was a child. Seeing another pastor up there in robes when it used to be my granddaddy. I cried so hard.

I dont believe in religion or dogma, but I felt like my sins were forgiven there. My grandfather was there in spirit and he forgave me like Jesus. Weird I know. But I felt it.

Anyways. That chapter of my childhood opened.

Me on Alton road

The wedding cake I made for a real wedding, a raw vegan wedding cake, 7 cases of thai coconuts and a crust of golden flax seeds with agave

Juice fasting during Hurricane Wilma

The pool I used to go to, natural spring water, down my street where I used to live.

This hotel the Biltmore I used to go and hang out in, at night I would go to it and talk to it. I think it was haunted. Al Capone lived there.

Raw Vegan CARROT Cake I made for this girl who was the girlfriend of a famous hollywood producer.

My town Yelm

Old photos

I look like a bad girl, with my granny panties

This was a beautiful house in coconut grove loaded with artwork and statues. I was on a dur rug on a bed and the photos behind me were my friend with presidents and movie stars.

Me as a baby

Me in Key West sunbathing by boat

Raw vegan restaurant in Seattle called Thrive made this seaweed dish.

Yellow

Stolen star fruit from farms in Florida

This was on a living food magazine cover, I made the recipe. Red pepper sauce on cucumber

Me all dolled up at raw vegan party

Baby alligator  I found on the floor. I put back.

Chihuly in Miami

Tomato Dulse avo. Lemon

green

Energy soup I liked it when placing loads of papaya in it.

My wood stove in Yelm

Me early in the morning

Alien in the natural history museum winter while ice skating I saw

Me in some botanical gardens on a first and last date with this guy whoe worked above the gym I went to Equinox

Me when I was a model for photos and also a dancer

Jakfruit sharing

Shooting in the everglades

raw

Me I think in Washington

Mamey. I ate many of them in smoothies

When I worked in Homestead FL at the organic farm.

Everyday was awesome. It was a truly raw vegan life there.

Raw food meal at the tree of life, my friend Shayla made this one.

Me in the Ritz hotel with a lover, years later a deep trance, Edgar Cayce type guy told me my past life was with the same guy I went to London with, and he had a job, the same one he has in this lifetime, and I was a street lady in Victorian London who went with aristocrats. I loved him, but he was an unsavory character and didnt want to provide for me. Wow. No wonder London seemed haunted. Especially in the Ritz Hotel here. They brought me walnuts in shells and oranges with the leaves still on them.

Me in Iceland horseback riding. Icelandic horse. I went so fast. I was supposed to go to Iceland with this raw vegan famous guy who stiffed me after his 19 year old girlfriend, a beauty model, found out about me a week before. She called me and I told her not to worry about me, I am nobody. But he was mad I talked to her and stiffed me. We were truly just friends. It was sad, I was all alone and didnt speak Icelandic. I did see Sigur Ros play live. Surprise concert there.

Coral Gables fruit market fruit table

Fruitarian meditation

I meditated on the word FRUITARIAN for as long as I could Felt like forever. In the dark, sitting on a blanket. My eyes closed. When I saw the word, I got all sorts of wonderful feelings. I was uplifted. I felt energy flow up my spine and out my head. When not stopped by thoughts. What a great thing to be, very high. Very high frequency a fruitarian is. That is why its kind of hard to be one at first. Everything must change. One must be very clean. So clean you are able to travel in your mind to high places, where you are free. Its a beautiful word. Its very angelic almost.

Anyways, what I am sure is easier, if you write the word, whatever you want to focus on, on a piece of paper. Doesnt have to be fruitarian. Could be whatever you want to be. And stare at the piece of paper, go over each line in your head. Trace it in your mind. You can do this up to an hour. Just focus on the word, and nothing else. Your mind becomes that word and you lose your thoughts. You become that thing. Its so freeing.

I am just saying it really might help you, if you want to be 811 or raw or whatever. Because words are so packed with meaning. And you feel eevry meaning when you focus on the word. Almost you work thru every thought on it. You might even work thru your blockages.

We are spirit, we have imagination and we can be anything we want to be. Literally, when we do this. Words have so much power.

I hope this helps someone. You can play music too, and when music finishes you stop.
I went thru all my memories of what I have on that word. I saw the old fruitarian message board logo with apple bite. I saw Anne. I mostly felt alot of high emotions. I had no idea how much respect I have for those who are truly fruitarian, or 811. Who do it right and are successful. You guys really are on to something. I swear this is the future

Year

I went to Landmark. This was our lunch break. I ran into the guy on the far right in the Bahamas a year later how is that for coincidence?

Me pregnant with my beau. He made that continous feed waterfall. Behind a castle with a 5 room underground bunker underneath. Made that too.

My dog getting chiropractic adjustment by the raw food chef at Ann Wigmore institute. Also a chiropractor.

Indians, fake indians in Puerto Rico, at a re enactment.

Me pregnant with my little doll.

My at a business lunch at my law firm in Brickell where I worked. I ordered a raw food plate at Mortons and the chef made me a plate of raw brocolli.

Days

Me in Miami, in South Beach actually. The first high rise when you get on the island.

Me in Coconut Grove. I think I had some of the best times there. I was loved very much. But I cant stand wine drunks.

Me high on cacao drinks.

Me on Skype

Me in Boston when I was a dancer and swam in money every morning. I had piles on my bed.

Me and my sister and mom in her house after her divorce. It was a mansion. Well her first one was too. Now its worth over two million.

Raw vegan Pina colada pie by Rose lee Calabro. One of my first raw food books.

Love

I was a student for a while. It was fun. I really liked Remote viewing.

I love the deering estate and came here often

My oil painting of my sister she never took, my mom has

Fasting on watermelon juice

When I worked at Glaser Organic Farms in office

Me with a blone mohawk, you cannot see it. I made that necklace in jewlery class, My hardcore bands flyers in the back, I was super punk.

Marilyn Monroe morgue photo, she looks beautiful still