Wednesday, December 23, 2015


I went to an industry awards ceremony in Seattle. Three people I knew won awards.

My boyfriend is also featured in a magazine this month, a best of 2016 big magazine.

One world government.
How would I create a one world government. I think we all should put our heads together. Because if you do not, get involved with politics, your inferiors will rule over you making laws. That's what politics is, ruling others, making laws, etc.

My ideas:

What is GOD- is Love. What is Bad- is Harm.
There are individuals. That have rights. That is all. There is no such things as groups, gangs, races, special groups of any sort, legally. Of course anyone can belong to a group, its just not regulated. Religion, should be one, a perfect one, that leads everyone to happiness and all goals. It hasnt been invented yet, but it should be. And also some moral codes about F...REE WILL...
Individuals have rights. Inalienable. What does inalienable mean? Well, there would have to be added, "Inalienable no matter what", after it. Free will must be respected, and the free will of you must be protected. You must respect the free will of another...legally of course. There would be courts to settle disagreements. If you agreed on terms and one side didn't do what they said, yet profited, there should be like a contract code. This is tough, because it really should be worked out between the two parties, and there should be mediators there, or referees, or coaches and then or until there is a solution everyone can agree on, of their own free will. That way people think for themselves, skills of talking to others, rather than let who knows who decide fates.


I would like to get work under control and I want it to be fun. I want to be ahead of my game. I want to think ahead. I want to create a plan a system that makes it so easy for me.
What do I desire what do I really want? I want work to be manageable. I want it to be fun. I want to come up with the master ideas. I want to write more. I want to say things and change the flat earth. One person at a time. I want to help heal the flat earth. . Meaning all its people. I want to do something that can help everyone become better. Guide people to the light if you will. I also want my house to be clean. I want my kids to be smart and read already. I want to write a book. Maybe a non fiction. How to love better, how to receive love to open up your heart? All these things I am interested in.
What do I need to do to make what I want happen? I have to be open I have to loosen up my typing skills so language can come more naturally to me. I have to focus. I have to plan. I have to ask powers to help me. I have to ask spirit for a new idea. I have to find the people. I have to put it out there, what I need. I have to open my heart. Maybe join a writing class or a meditation class online and learn something new. I would like to start helping others. With their unconscious. I have hypnosis techniques I want to try. I want to do quantum healing on people. I have studied long enough. Just for fun. I really enjoy it.
Who or what do you need help from to access what you want? Well, I need to start making connections with those like minded who think like me. I need to make connections with everyone I meet. I need to be open. I need to look people in the eyes and connect with them. I want to create lots of connections. This is what life is about to me. I need family. I need an answer to how to manage everything in my life, in a fun way. I need to know how to be perfect. Perfect meaning aligned with my dreams. Aligned with my will and my desires. I want gravity on things. What protections do I need so I do not get knocked back down? I need strength and I need positive thinking. Everyone likes happy. Everyone likes it. All the time. We have to be happy all the time. Or look like it. I need protection from negative sad thoughts.

What is affecting my life negatively? I would say stress worry and being not in a space where I can answer a phone without worrying about my kids yelling in the background. I think I do not get out as much as I want, and I do not entertain. I would like to move. I think my small home is affecting me negatively because I truly belong in a mansion, but we all do what we have to do, when starting at the bottom. I could say all this affects me negatively. Housework also. Its not what I do. But all this I want deleted. Gone!

What would I need to accomplish to be truly happy? I would have to have a stress free life, new house, maid service, nanny, work I ADORE, love all around me. Easy easy work. I want work to take care of itself or maybe I can hire someone I can truly trust to manage over everything. That would mean I would have to open my life, and its so risky. I want my life opened then. I have to treat people well. I want to always be in a good mood. I want to make everyone happy. I want to be liked by everyone. I want my job to be easy first and foremost and FUN. No stress. No havoc. Phones emails taken care of, as they come in, like magic. Answered, Sales made on their own. I need this fixed.

What do you have to detach from to be truly happy? STRESS AND WORRY period. Anxious communications with those I love. I have to stop anxious communications with those I love. Those who know know. This I must stop doing. And if done to me, I laugh and dance instead of engage. And I have to detach from all other loves and hobbies. I have to make this goal my main overall encompassing desire. Until I find answer

If I could be a winner at work....yes, that would make me completely blissful. I would be the most happy. I can have a life. I can be happy. I can rest. I can be with my loved ones. I win. I won.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

FLOWER of life

I am playing Helixeleh online with a bunch of strangers. Here is my screen shot. Its better when you do this with someone you know. You each take turns. HelixileH : How to Play The game is played by creating a sacred geometry of words in relationship. To play, click on the intersection of the word/s you would like to connect. The new word must build upon some aspect of that relationship. The new word played is generally chosen by reflecting upon our personal experience with the two connecting words.


I ordered a hand made mandolin. Its being made now with pink rosettes.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Healthy Wealthy Blessed

Marilyn Monroe needed to connect with people all the time. Spiritually she was a christian scientist.
Robert smith of the CURE just wanted job where he can be in ecstasy all day. He wanted to make a living.
What is the purpose of this entry? I think I would like to talk with the entire population. I think I would. Hello? People? This is what I have to say to you. Its best to be with the best ideas. That is what we all are. Is walking ideas. If we are truly to have a one world leader, he has to be the perfect man, the man of mankind, the god of mankind.

We have to love more, the ones we love. We have to be the best we can be.  We must eat only organic. We must eat better and reach for higher knowledge.
 We need disclosure. We need transparency. We need a ruler- of all man- who is perfect. Who is the perfect man spiritually. Who I wish for all our sakes, can come and show us. What is right? 

I would say my loyalties are to love. And to what is good and right. What will lead me to all my worldly desires. Happiness, know that blissful path, the spiral of ecstasy.

 It starts with the people working in the government.  They are protecting our way of life. Our very existence. They have to be the finest character. They have to be men and women we want to be like. They have to be beautiful. They have to have good ideas, They have to have the right ideas. They have to love humanity. They have to prove that. They have to do whats right. They have to rule with LOVE. Rule us with love.  That is what we would want. They have to lead us, lead us, in the world, from the very best, Representing us as people.

 If you are not involved with politics, then inferior people are ruling over you. You have to be involved, in the game of controlling everyone. If you want to live how you want. People who are not afraid to speak honestly as if they were speaking to all light itself, we need ruling us.

The business of ruling others is complicated and we need a leader. We need one bad. I am not talking about our country, but as a man. How do we want to live? What standards? Anything goes? Do we want to suffer or be happy and free to choose either. I am sure there are parts of you inside your heart, that want other things, always no matter what side of the fence you are on. Maybe we constantly are wanting. And we never stop and we always want and that is the meaning of life, to overcome or get your worldly desires. Or to just be curious and taste everything and go with the wind. And try different things on different days.

I want to say to the world, we have to allow every human on the planet freedom. We have to protect the life of every man child and woman. We have to protect the private property.

Beauty, talent, skill, genius in children has to be funded. Not the other way around.

Everyone has to feel safe. Everyone has to feel free to do whatever they want. Without others permission, or red tape, or taxed. Free will has to be protected.  If someone wants to live in a country house, they can and they can flourish. If someone wants a sky scraper then go ahead. Its your choice. You live how you want.  The tools are all around you. Make it easy for everyone to succeed and get off their backs. Teach anything in school. What is needed in the workforce and in sciences. Give every man power of the gods to create. Think thoughts you want. Thoughts are free. You cannot control someones thoughts. So do not take this for granted. Think yourself free, focus on overcoming, winning and achieving all your worldly desires. Or overcoming them.

I feel we have to connect with others all the time. We always have to attach ourselves to someone in our thoughts. We are never not thinking about others, and very rare, people I am sure, this is where you get genius, they attach to things or information or music notes or numbers. The do this instead of attaching to parents. Marilyn Monroe for example. Her genius is she connected to others in her need of her mother. She needed to connect. Or she didn't exist. And she dreamed of others all day long. She was on the phone at all hours. She had lifelong loyal friendships. She was truly good. Goddesslike. No woman is as perfectly submissive and loving, joyous and happy.

What is it that everybody wants? Whatever that is, who controls it? We all do. The power is in all of us. The collective mind. The internet. This is the mind. There is a darknet too - the sub and unconscious as well. Who knows whats in there.

We all are allowed what we desire. And there is always that person seeking what you are seeking no matter how taboo. Free will must be respected. There is always that seeking you. Just obey free will.

Alternative medicine should be the next big thing. Spiritually advanced people, more and more should be appearing. People that hold your hand and speak to you, look into your eyes, and smile and hug, those will be rewarded with your loyalty.

Is it imagination magic? Yes. But this helps people. Its just using thoughts to heal. That does not mean it is a scam, unless you knowingly lie about something.  People use meditation, to find out something. To speak to higher powers, feel higher things, see their goals, or to become better. To make decisions, or to know what it is you have to do. Make this a science. Its important.

I had a great papaya and soaked goji berries and banana smoothie. I put goji berries in everything. I been eating mac nuts.

It is possible to live in bliss. To feel high on life. To be high on life and love it. Its so alive. It is possible to experience good emotions. To overcome fears, to love and connect with others. To succeed. To win. to know so much about your desires.

I do have dreams and thoughts. I imagine people, places, and I long for conversations. I long for emails, I long for my family. I long mostly for news stories. I wish I were more of a writer. I wish I was a spy. I should write about other people.

I am glad you are here.

Let us move into a new world where right is right.

Friday, December 11, 2015


If god is the source of it all, then the source would have to be in the past, a place in time, right, when everything first began, that first has to be in the past, God has to live in the past, because all time is linear correct? Is it, even in outer space? We dont know that for sure. But based on what we do know, the source of everything exists in a place in time, one would think in the past. So that would be god? The past? And we are moving away? And all we want is to go back? The first thought? A powerful one. Now, can one talk to that one thing in time, back when it was -one thing? It has to exist in space and time. I can transcend that in my mind, correct? So here I am seeking that which loves me. That which adores me. That which thinks I am so special. That which sees my beauty and sees my desires, and wants to help. I am seeking that which knows all of me, all my desires, my worldly and what I want for those I love..that who loves me, and knows me..I am seeking. Hello? Are you there? Can you here me?

Now would that be the god of all. And since we are pure consciousness in an animal body, is there such a thing as a god of man? God of all men? So that would be another god...correct?

I meditated on the SRI YANTRA today. The questions came to me,  from this meditation. Wow, its the symbol that contains everything. Even the pyramids, built even with the entrances to kings chamber, exact copy of the Sri Yantra. You even see a sphinx, but with a lions head, not a pharoahs. You see that when you stare at the symbol. You also see the three pyramids. You see all animals. You see a human face. You see a tower facing towards me and a tunnel the other way out the other side.  You see pi, golden ratio..Its all coincided with your chakras, the heart is the first fourteen triangles. I know you probably think what, what what? Yes, but just remember the SRI YANTRA. Its divine symbol to meditate. Older than the pyramids.

My mind makes sense of it. It does, its like a puzzle. Its like oh wow, it is a vortex tool. It is very trippy. Its Hindu. But they say it may be older than the oldest religion itself. They say everything man has to experience is in there, They say its a roadmap to your desires. How to get there, it shows you like its crystal clear and you know how its going to happen even, and you know who will help you. You just know. You have dreams where your phobias are cured vividly.

 They say India has never had war, because of this symbol built into all their ancient temples. In fact, some of the temples are giant 3d sri yantras. In Oregon a crop circle showed up, and three guys took credit , but couldnt recreate it at all. Not even the lines in the ground. It was all perfect the grooves over 13 miles or something. You could only see it from a plane. Anyways. Year later, it made the area fertile! Water appeared etc. Cymatics, you know what that is? The shapes sound makes if you put sand on speakers. Anyways, the sri yantra is the om sound. And it appears, the shape of it. On certain frequencies I do not know the exact science. But I have seen it on video.

We are pure consciousness, but we have an animal body leading to all sorts of strange desires and wants. The purpose of life is to attain worldly desires. To ultimate liberation...and I think you can overcome stuff as well using the sri yantra. If you desire. I been warned to use it only for good. But I have done it for bad- in emergencies.

One who keeps getting unwanted results in life could benefit from meditation on the Sri Yantra. Do you really want to overcome sensual desires? I can see where that would be divine in a way. But I do love man a lot. Jealousy false pride avarice failures avarice miserliness I would love to overcome. But like I said, I love man, and I love mens things.

when I go shopping, I always put in my cart, what I have reached for. I shop with my intuition. I do. I put whatever I have in my hands. You know how you look at things, but put them back? Well, if its in your hand, you are supposed to buy it. Its your unconscious that picked it. Where my eyes fall when I go down an aisle, it is usually what I need, but I never know for sure until I go home and when I go home, I am like THANK YOU I REALLY NEEDED THAT. Your mind knows what's in the entire store. Space out a little when you go shopping. Remember, if you are reading or looking at it, you need it. It makes it easier to shop and a lot quicker. I always said I should write a book on psychic shopping.
There is always, oh will I have enough money...and I don't really need, and..well, I dont know if I have enough...that voice in your cannot listen to. You are overthinking. In my remote viewing classes Ed Dames, I was told that once you think something, you have it wrong. X that out and start over. It takes time to do that. your mind loves to analyze and figure and translate and it just cant.
When you speak and you stutter, or type and make typos, that means you are not being honest. Communication has to be clear and pure or its all messed up.
I made some pomegranate bombs, you know big chunks of them, the fleshy seeds in packets? with some soaked goji berries and ate that. I also had a lot of warmed cacao tea too. I have a salad I made in the fridge. Tahini dressing. With lemon juice, raisins, water..

I have photos I have to upload.

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

12 9 2015 POETRY

I definitely seen what is happening years ahead. I always seem to see things way before they happen. My eyes have been all over the news years ago- before its happening now..I have opinions on things no one else does. I seem to like unpopular ideas. I see through propaganda. SO many times people are like Mado, you are the only one who thinks this, and then a few years later I go I told you so. I do not know what this is. Is this intuition? Well I see dark things coming. Very dark and we are all in the web. We must be confident. Good always overcomes evil. Its just what happens. Good ideas will always win over bad ones.
What is the ultimate idea? What is the way we are supposed to be? How are we to live? That is for young philosophers. How are we to respect or disrespect human life? How do we handle our power our free will, choices and contracts? This body computer.
 What are the rules besides anything goes? Is there a light? Is there a will we have inside, leading us to what is good? How do we know we are on the right path? Does one feel it and then uses common sense also? Is it a feeling or do I have to sit down and draw diagrams and plans? Do I have to make goals for my life, for my week, for my hour, for my minutes? Because intentions change per moment. I have so much emotion, I feel alive.
 I feel spiritually, gifted, I definitely take for granted my gifts. When you got something, you just got it. Its not that exciting. I have desires. I now know my will. I do. That is where our magic is.
 I have some weaknesses. I feel support. I know I am on the right path as unpopular as it may be, I know what is right. I have senses. I have a brain. We all do. I want what is right. I want to touch it. I want to have a relationship with it. What is our future here in planet Earth? This awakening is so profound, the imaginary tide turning- is turning now. Its so fast. I came so far in just five years. Every minute it seems I am feeling things, rushing through my nerves. I get thoughts sent to me from all over. I have conversations and I make connections with people, even though I do not see them or speak with them in months. I have to translate my own thoughts. Sometimes they are not my own.
My favorite psychic game, I been playing for years, is, when I send someone an email, or photos, or a joke, I know exactly when they open it up and read it. Sometimes I forget for days. But when I feel in my heart the memory coming back with even new forgotten memories coming back, I know that person is reading it right at that moment. I open up presents with the person I bought presents for, even out of state. I read emails all over again from new eyes. I hear messages, and I know whats been read and when. I do. Its instant. You cannot ignore it. But I do notice that there are moments when I feel I am witnessing something in the future, and my reaction to it in the future. Like I can see ahead of time, someone's thoughts or reaction. And then again when it happens in full color. I do this so much I take it for granted. Its like everyday. I know, no one has to call me.
That is it. I want to become more spiritual. I want to love more.  I want to share a Great love. I want to reach new heights. I have so much to share. I have been through what works. I am lucky enough to be dating, in a relationship with,  yes, father of my kids, a real idiot savant with numbers. Totally incapable of these things like basic social skills, but so gifted- Antonin is a true psychic, the real thing. I am dating a psychic that has skills that come so naturally. My skills are self taught self trained. His were taught when he was a child by a traveling healer father. His dad taught him so much. I have seen things. I leave this as its all poetry, all fiction. Imagination. All my writing. I wish I could write all day. Maybe I should.
I am reading so many books on Audible and on my Prime. I love it. I want to learn everything. I want to start hypnotizing people and finding out through their own words, what people were in past lives and even future, with information that can heal. I want to start doing it. For free of course.

Its funny I do free tarot and I have to beg people to give them.  I have to beg others to give them free readings and I wish they would appreciate. They laugh, make fun, dismiss it. Its so special when I do them, to me at least. So much information is out there ready to be accessed dissected cut up analyzed. I love my readings, I can do one a day. I am very shy. I am very quiet.

I went to Paris twice and Iceland and I didn't talk to anybody when there. I don't know many people THAT shy. That's me.

SO for me to find guinea pigs for my spiritual transformation..its like the photographer of people, who is afraid of people. To ask if ok to take a photo, forget it.

I also love my SRI YANTA but I have not found a way to read with it yet. I don't know if I want to share that technology with anyone, yet. Its so good. I consult it daily through meditation. Its from the Hindu religion, a tool for yogis. Its older than the pyramids they say, because the configuration of the pyramids is exact to the SRI YANTRA. Its a mandala looking design that actually has PI in it,  the GOLDEN RATIO. It seems to be 3d. It goes up and down and to the sides. There are circles squares and triangles. And like the tarot, everything that man has to experience in life is in there. I have had profound life changing events using this tool, yet its power eludes me. I take it for granted. Power is like that.

I should start writing about people I know. DO portraits. I love writing.

There are beautiful friends I have. I can maybe talk about.

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Questions. Love. Light.

What is right and good in the world
What is right for humanity
What is good for individuals
What is the highest moral best a person can be?
How do you know what to do?
Can you tap into an energy, an invisible force, imagination, as others would call it...and ask it questions
and have it answer you somehow. Do I have to be on the table knocked out next to a reader to give answers or can I be concious and write it myself.
Can I talk to you reading in the future?
Can I talk to myself in the future, now?
Can I talk to all humanity? Can I speak to the entire planet?
If I were to create a world religion, it would be all about free will. And how it must be respected. Also, about whats right and what is good. That which is safe and leads to all wordly desires.

But everyone has free will, so they may choose evil. Look I can only speak for myself. What is right and good for me. What is the best, What decisions are all right. What decision

Its not a right if someone can vote it away from you. We have a functioning democracy and no longer a constitutional republic. This is aiding our enemies. And we need to stop before all is lost. You are subject to the opinion of others, now it seems. This is not how we are supposed to be. How can you know what is best for others. You can know what is best for yourself. And your own world.

Heaven is other people. Bliss is connecting to others always. Always be connected to someone psychically or else lose yourself in outer space. Connect and stay connected, hold on every moment to someone else. I think Marilyn Monroe had to be connected to others all the time, day and night. She was so vibrant and energetically glowing with love. I want to be like her.

There is no home, just other people. That is what home is. Others. Or thoughts of others. Others others others that is love. Who am I if there were no other people? There is no Paris without all the people who have created it. That takes love. Not just love, but love shining down on you. You being loved. Love loving you. That is what its all for. Love of others for you. Eyes upon you, like you were a baby and your mom was looking at you longingly.

Is this what heaven is? The love of someone else? The praise? And if so, why do so many of us not see this? We go around loving others like crazy, why because we have to, we have to love an ideal man or ideal woman. And we have to look at people, on screen, we have to listen to them on computer and the tv. We need others.

I need you and you need me. I need you to write to and you need me to read.
Today I had hemp lemon juice salt agave dressing atop wild greens and cilantro. I had banana sage smoothies.
I want to be a winner in everything I do and want. I want to know my will. I want my will to be out there working for me.
I want to succeed. Everything that is good and right. I want to communicate with. I want to translate messages from all that is good in life. I want to only be in this space all the time, as much as I can.
I want my energy to guide me and my family. I need to depend on my energy to always know where to be where it is safe. I want my family to be safe. I want to live abundantantly.

I think people are always connected to others, some more than others. Some all the time. And I think you go from one person to another, like anchors, when you think of them. There is also what is good and right according to your worldly desires. What is good and right is your desire. What is good and right is these worldly desires.

Statism is the deathnail. When the heat hits, all is going to melt like snowflakes. Government as a whole, wow, they are not good. Anything to control man. Outside oneself. One must control oneself. One must be reminding to not kill hurt or steal from others, or lie in contracts. One must use the laws against the players. They write it to seem like it means how they want, but its written out pretty clearly. And no one reads anything. The constitution itself can be used.

If I am able to contact anything, I would like to contact all that is good and right. I would like to ask I replacing a person for you? Is god other people? Am I supposed to be praying to another human? Am I to tell all and confess to a person? Am I supposed to ask for all my desires, of another? Is there an entity that is good and right that leads and helps humans? Of course there is. I would like to speak to an entity that helps humans. I am looking and awaiting. I am asking, how do I know when I am on the right path? Can you lead me to where all my dreams come true? All my worldly desires granted? Can I make a spiritual request?