Fruit salad with persimmon

 loquats I ate

 Salad

 Raw vegan I got at a veggie store in Miami

What I ate all day today- smoothies!

 Frozen durian I get at asian market. I call it Morning thong durian.

What I ate today

A smoothie of banana mango dried strawberries
durian fruit popsicle
half avocado
Lots of smoothies of durian dried strawberry and banana
Sunflower seeds

I have so many acorn squashes from gifts from people. I think I am going to mix it with that thai coconut, a mango and blend into a raw soup tomorrow, with a few spices. I am not a big raw squash eater, but I have alot of it.

I feel really good. I mean I am so happy I am doing this again. I feel the joy and hope, all coming back. Like almost a miracle unfolding again. Me. Fruit eating is magical. I dont care. It just is. I am looking forward to some bumpy bumps, they have not happened yet. I will do it right this time. I promise. This diary is like my secret. I have a room in my house just for writing in this diary. It has a table with marble chess set I lay my laptop on. I am looking out over Mount Ranier. This is what my view is at sunset. I took it yesterday.

 A long ways away from Miami huh?

Its cold. It doesnt snow in winter, just rains.. RAINS RAINS RAINS Its totally TWILIGHT scenery. I am not far from FORKS at all. Lots of green wet canopies. Spooky.

I watch too much tv, and work on websites for people.

I take baths. I play with my daughter most of the time. She is alot of fun. I make sure she is happy all the time. I play with her even when I am busy.

I spoke to my friend from Boston. She was the roomate of my ballerina friend. She drank alot back then. We hung out a few times. She thought I was memorable I guess and remembered my name and tracked me down. Back in the days, she had this room in a house made of wood, with velvet everywhere. We read Maupassant together, she lent me a book, turned me on, I later read every volume the man ever writ. French Lit is heavy. Its like French Poe. Anyways, I would visit my friend and wind up staying in her room because she was much cooler. My ballerina friend used to wear these leather boots that laced up the back. Apparently her boyfriend liked to be hit and beaten up. I heard he dressed like a woman. It was all so strange to me. Kind of cool. They liked Leonard cohen and tom waits. So she contacted me and we spoke on the phone last night.

My boyfriend thought I was talking to a guy, for an hour, he got super super jealous. He has been having dreams I am cheating on him. I just laugh. What am I going to do here? Well we got into a argument because he wouldnt tell me what was wrong, said things like, " Things are in perspective now" but wouldnt tell me what was wrong.  I refused to get out of the car until he told me, which he didnt. It was full on in the parking lot of walmart, just like white trash. This morning he told me, that he was jealous, thought I was cheating on him, talking to a man, losing me, etc..and we had a blissful day shopping.

Back to my friend. we gossiped about people we used to know. The ballerina, ran away with a guy she met in the harvard square T station stop, to New York. She gave me his name. I am going to track him down. If I posted a picture of the ballerina you would love her, she is unreal, her beauty is classic. She was a sexy psycopath like Angelina Jolie in her darker movies. I still love that girl. Broke my heart every turn she could. She stole just about every guy I went out of a first date with. It drove me crazy because I liked her so much. She was such a good dancer, doing ballet since she was 4.

Back to my friend. She gave up drinking, had a kid, gave it to the daddy, and is now living in the Pacific Northwest. Her friends are all beautiful, on FB, and she is living the single beautiful life full of pain. She told me her parents both abused her, all of her relatives. She is so lovely. I enjoyed talking to her for an hour last night. Some people just have IT.

VAMP.

Anyways, to my surpise she is mostly raw. How cool is that. She has been raw for many years, I think just high raw now.