Tuesday, December 06, 2011

I got a gift, a necklace with an Australian pearl #12 and diamonds. My friend designed the necklace for me so its one of a kind.

Boring day yesterday, and today. Just watermelon juice and lots of smoothies.
I did cheat and have champagne, I couldnt say no to romance after my gift, and I wanted it. I had a headache from detox. I mixed it with OJ.

Banana, dates, greens, mango, durian, etc I live on those

I also had a bag of oranges. Lots of bananas. Dates.

I had two salads with greens, some wakame, etc with a little oil and braggs

Not very gourmet or fruity. Boring. But most days I eat very plainly.

Its my 5th day and I feel so great. I look great, feel better. I am so happy. My love life is active. I love people, my friends. I love you. I feel good.
Girls are calling me up they want to hang out.
I did a few things like blow some people off and parties. I dont know why but I like doing that. Sends a message.  Whatever that is. I just dont want to be taken for granted.
I feel beautiful Am wearing a pink dress with my new necklace.
My toes are still nice from when I got a pedicure last month. Purple glitter. I have a gold ring from my boyfriend also with some copper leaves on it.

Today I took off work. I just laid in bed with my angel. We cuddled. Its nice to give love. I like it. I should give love to everyone and every situation.

I also listened to some Orin by Sanaya Roman cds. They put me in good mood. Meditate and imagine white light in your head, etc. I feel clean. I do, clean. Alive, young, flawless.
My makeup is perfect. I feel smooth. I took a bath and scrubbed my face, then when I got out I always put silver water gel on it. Makes it shine when it dries.

Its dark now. 4pm, sun has set. Its dark. There is nothing but mountains. Thismorning I dressed up my angel and we took a walk to the park. She fell a few times. She is fearless. She will just walk off steps if I dont hold her.
We have blackberry bushes everywhere. Its too cold now, but when it fruited oh man, I had so many. I would juice a whole bowl full of blackberry juice.

I had a weird dream. I always have these dreams, where I am trying to survive a nazi like future where I am running from boogeymen. Hiding in sewers and trying to survive. I hope I am not attracting it. Also sexual dreams last night I had. Not anything pleasurable, but I was being raped kind of. HMM Its not what I want, but I have alot of crap in me I have to detox out. Alot of just wasted excuses.

I worked all day yesterday, it was really hard. I just want to be a mom. Be home and be with my angels. Sometimes I miss living alone and watching THE HILLS and reading books all night. But I paid a  high price. Now I am really busy. I run a house. A business. A family. Some days, like today, I just want to read a romance book.

I read classics, great works of fiction, nonfiction, etc but recently my friend gave me a pile of romance books. I thought, why not. I started reading one, modern ones. Wow. I was like, this is it? A whole book working up to one night of passion? And it seemed very normal, everyday type things happening,for chapters long. But I kind of feel dumbed down and I really like it. Plus romance, flirting, the widowed millionaire, the mysteries, who was my mother, who killed such and such, really got me interested. I read these books like nothing now. Very fast. Maybe its not romance novels. I dont know what else to call them. There is no Fabio in them. But there is little sex in them and lots of attraction. Yes. I have reached new lows. But its good. Its like Lifetime Movies. I love those. I watched one the other night about a haunted house with anorexic actresses.

Yes it is kind of boring lately. But when I get back on this high fruit all raw thing, I know things will work themselves out. Always has.

I have been helping out with distilling some oils lately. Pine, dougfir, hemlock spruce etc. Cedar. They smell sooo good. Oh man. They all smell different. Notes of lemon. Notes of bluegreen. I bottle them. I love the hydrosols. I use them as windex and floor cleaner. Thats the water left over from making essential oils.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to see you are back and blogging. I hope summer comes to you soon...Aloha from Hawaii