Ten Minutes Typing.

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Just wondering about my philosophy in life.

Do I live in love? Do I make every decision based on love? I use love as the focal point of every question I have. Also, do I allow the day to unfold more on its own, in love?

Also, my diet. I feel like my diet is great, but I do not eat a-lot. I am very skinny.

My food philosophy should be aim for 100% raw all the time. But really raw vegan. Stay away from agave and honey. I have such a sweet tooth. I know I may have a problem with this, and I love raw cacao.

Can I love off love? In my mind? Its capable of so many good thoughts, If I make love my focal point I do feel a-lot of healing. Also meditating on sharing my love to others and meditating on having conversations with people, in my love. In my thoughts. Is this a good way to live? To do every thing within the thoughts of love?

I know I need more organizing in my diet. It always feels like I am out of groceries. I love giving myself recipes and plans to make. I do not know if I want to sprout a-lot. I think I should just eat salads and sprouts and make a good dressing. Its always about survival as a raw food-ist. Always hanging by that thread. That dependence on the organic store, etc.I h o stick with this whole foods organic raw vegan lifestyle. I really have been hanging on despite the world around me just fighting me on this. I have. I decide sometimes maybe its not about the food, maybe its best just not to eat food period.

I have been meditating everyday on the SRI YANTRA and watching youtube videos. Today I felt really connected with all my chakras and were seeking answers in my chakras instead of in my mind.

From the ground up to the sex organs, its grounding. You are like a tree. I wear a necklace too. Here I am wearing it.

I have been eating things like raw vegan coleslaws and tomatoes and basil. Orange juicer I bought. I made some mac nut and bell pepper spread for some black nori today. I had my cacao tea. I love it. I tried giving this up today. 

And what good is a good diet if you fight it and have to use will power etc. It is a strange thing, we should naturally be who we want to be. Without trying. When you think of yourself in your body, do you think of your body, are you conscious of it or are you distracted by any thoughts? Should you be focused on your body with your mind more as a meditation? Like how you want it to look, how it feels, your ideal self, what it feels like.

I meditated today and I found out that I really crave going back to the semi tropics. I do not think days to come is coming, but I know something is, so I stay put. My mother says to get a visa to visit my home country you have to fly to NYC. I want to go were someone loves me and takes care of me? Where is that? Where am I loved?

What would be the best way to live? A fool proof way to always fall back on, to always know the answer, to always have a source of energy and answers to meditate on. To communicate with?

Would it be with LOVE? Loving others? Love sending it out? Love in my words, love in my sentiments and love in my eyes? Love when dealing with others, big and small. Putting love first, before me even, always love first, always analyze it with love. Using love as my god. That would make me a love maiden, a love vesta virgin.

 A love goddess would be Marilyn Monroe, or Aphrodite. MM was all about love. Getting others to love her. Desperate for it. Always on screen, always in the spotlight, always perfect. And a little girl with her pure energy. Joy. Happiness. SOMEONE ELSE. 

My goal in everything should be love.